When Is A Candle Not A Candle?

Coming round after the operation took me some time.The op started around 8:15 am (I was bumped from 3rd on the list after the previous two showed pre-med anomalies and there weren’t even any free beds at that stage) and I woke up around 6pm albeit with only a tenuous grip on reality. The next few days were very painful and I was pinned to a bed with blood drains, limb weights (not fun), catheter (you could get used to that kind of convenience) and a fluid drip and oxygen mask (does oxygen smell or was I inhaling disinfectant fumes on the mask?).

Getting Back 
By day three I was conscious enough to slur a few words to various nursing staff but mostly I was just taking the morphine shots, drinking water and sleeping. In the evening of day three a nurse came in and asked if I wanted the television on (I had a telly in my room which I felt guilty about but was in no position to turn it on but at least it wasn’t a patientline rip off).

Mind Your Language 
Before I could say no thanks a channel had been selected and the set was blaring out (what is it with side mounted speakers they are a nightmare for us hard of hearing types).Almost as soon as the nurse had left the room I realised that the programme she’d selected might not be the most appropriate choice considering the audio content that would leak out onto the ward. It was Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares.

Expletives spilled out of the set as I lay half bemused and keenly worried about the stream of F-words blaring out.

When IS A Candle Not A Candle? 
Television looked doubly inane when watched from a hospital bed and adverts doubly so. This advert for a candle looks unbelievably kitsch and inane even out of the hospital confine. I thought adverts like this stopped in the 70’s. Makes me smile though.

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3 thoughts on “When Is A Candle Not A Candle?

  1. I am ashamed to admit, I own one of those candles. They aren’t as good as they look.

    Shame they didn’t put N24 on for you, Dan was on quite a bit while you were away and I was comforted by the thought that you were being adequately infotained during your recovery.

  2. Hi Kirsty- There’s no shame. The candle itself looks pleasant enough (who can resist a good…er…candle).It’s just the cheesy advert (like a latter day Ronco/K-tel). Sadly the hospital TV set was strictly analogue and so limited to the 5 terrestrial channels only so choice was a bit retro and anyway it was only the far wall with no remote control (by the time I struggled out of bed to turn it on I’d usually missed the programme).

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