Maintain Microwave Silence

There really needs to be a way of muting the annoying completion beeps on a microwave oven. Or even a choice. Like phone ring-tones.A soft ‘Ta’daa’ would suffice. Maybe a bit of Brahms. I’m not asking for a talking microwave. That would, I’m sure, quickly lose its novelty factor. It’s a first world annoyance but…

Consumer Item Limbo

“For the love of God give me my item”. The man in front of me in the queue at the Argos store had finally lost his patience. His number called as ready for collection long ago he had watched as his item moved from dispatch hatch to shelf and then seemingly to literal limbo. His…

Globesity Is Here

I heard the term Globesity used on the news last night.Obviously describing the rise in global obesity. It’s intriguing how these new hybrid words come into being and into popular use. The car-crashing together of two existing words to make a new bastardised word. This latest little miracle of language came from The World Health…

When Is A Candle Not A Candle?

Coming round after the operation took me some time.The op started around 8:15 am (I was bumped from 3rd on the list after the previous two showed pre-med anomalies and there weren’t even any free beds at that stage) and I woke up around 6pm albeit with only a tenuous grip on reality. The next…

Music In The Aisles 7 Nov 2007

Another quick dash for stash and today the supermarket chain radio was on but playing nothing recognisable to my eyes. The ‘DJ’ then decided to quiz those of us who tune part of our hearing into these things on what song would be coming up by reading out part of the lyrics in a very…

Music In The Aisles 3-10-07

Exit stage left for a late evening raid for some ‘essentials’ at the local supermarket thus managing to avoid Rhydian (he’d be camp if he wasn’t so up his posterior) on X Factor (hurray) and walked half heartedly in the evening air with fireworks going off all around me. Halloween Hangover There were still people…

Music In The Aisles 17/10/07

A swift charge around the supermarket aisles today gave me two subliminal music messages via the store tannoy: I could be happy by Altered Images and F.E.A.R by Ian Brown. There seemed to be a lot of people just standing and staring into space. Perhaps I was one of them. Also there were a lot…